Networking is often treated like a numbers game; more events, more contacts, more visibility. But for entrepreneurs, that approach doesn’t just fall short, it actively wastes time.

According to Christine Song, founder of the 5 to 9 Society , the real issue isn’t that founders aren’t networking. It’s that they’re doing it wrong.

“Being an executive or a founder is the loneliest position in the world… you go to bed at night with deep anxiety and have no one to turn to,” she says.

That loneliness isn’t just anecdotal. A 2024 report from Startup Snapshot found that 72% of founders experience mental health challenges, with isolation and decision pressure among the leading causes.

That’s exactly why networking matters; but not in the way most people think.

Why Networking Feels Like a Waste of Time

Most networking today is transactional. You’ve seen it: quick introductions, business cards exchanged, vague promises to “stay in touch.” Nothing meaningful comes from it.

“A lot of people prepare to go to networking events and have shallow conversations. It’s really transactional,” Song explains.

The result? A long list of contacts and zero real opportunities.

For founders already stretched thin, this kind of networking isn’t just ineffective. It’s exhausting.

The Real Reason You Need a Network

Networking isn’t about visibility. It’s about support, perspective, and better decision-making. Entrepreneurs operate under constant pressure. They’re expected to have answers, make high-stakes decisions, and carry the weight of the business, often without a peer group they can be honest with.

That’s where the right network changes everything .

Song emphasizes that vulnerable, high-value conversations don’t happen in large rooms or online communities. They happen in trusted environments with people who understand what you’re going through.

The biggest shift founders need to make is moving from broad networking to deep, relationship-based networking. In Song’s model, that means small, curated groups, often 12 to 15 people, where real conversations can happen.

“You actually leave the event knowing every single person very personally,” she says.

Compare that to large conferences where you might meet dozens of people but build no real connection. “You’re never going to meet someone with a name tag and one cocktail drink, and then they’re going to do favors for you.”

Real opportunities come from trust, and trust takes time.

The Hidden ROI Of Networking

One of the biggest misconceptions is that networking ROI should be immediate. In reality, the value compounds.

Each strong connection opens the door to another, creating what Song describes as a “flywheel effect,” where trusted introductions lead to new clients, partnerships, and opportunities.

This isn’t just theory. Research from Harvard Business Review shows that high-quality networks, not large ones, are what drive access to opportunities, capital, and growth. Warm introductions outperform cold outreach every time. And those introductions only happen when there’s genuine trust behind them.

Why Most Founders Build the Wrong Network

Even experienced entrepreneurs make a critical mistake: they surround themselves with people just like them. “The greatest harm to founders is when they only hang around with founders, you get groupthink,” Song says.

When your network lacks diversity in experience such as finance, operations, sales, you limit your ability to grow as a leader.

Founders don’t just need other founders. They need exposure to operators who think differently and challenge their assumptions.

How To Network Strategically (Not Socially)

If you want networking to drive results, you need to approach it with intention. Start with clarity. Know who you need to meet and why. “It’s better to have three strong connections versus 20 that are vague,” Song explains.

Next, lead with value. Instead of asking, “What can I get?” ask, “What can I offer?” That shift alone changes how people respond to you and whether they’re willing to open doors on your behalf.

Finally, be direct. If you’re looking for partnerships, clients, or capital, say so. The fastest way to lose momentum is to be unclear.

The Future of Networking Is Human

As digital noise increases, the value of real, in-person relationships is rising. “There’s going to be a bigger focus on real relationships and in real life meetups. Human connection is irreplaceable,” Song says.

At the same time, founders who build communities around their work will have a significant advantage.

“If you can build a strong community as a founder, you’re already winning. That’s your moat.”

Networking isn’t about collecting contacts. It’s about building relationships that create access, trust, and opportunity. For entrepreneurs, the goal isn’t to be in more rooms; it’s to be in the right ones.

Melissa Houston, CPA, CEPA , is a Business Value & Financial Strategy Advisor and a Forbes.com contributor who writes about building profitable, sellable businesses.

With more than 25 years of experience in finance and accounting, she helps entrepreneurs increase profit, improve cash flow, and build companies that create long-term wealth. Her work focuses on financial leadership, profit optimization, and increasing business valuation through strategic decision-making.

Melissa is a Certified Exit Planning Advisor (CEPA), specializing in helping founders understand and close the gap between their current business value and its full potential. She works with business owners to strengthen financial performance, reduce risk, and position their companies for successful exits.

A published author of Cash Confident: An Entrepreneur’s Guide to Creating a Profitable Business , Melissa is a recognized voice in financial strategy and entrepreneurial wealth-building.

The opinions expressed in this article are not intended to replace professional accounting or tax advice.