Human love, mating, and family life have fascinated scientists at least since Charles Darwin explored the evolutionary origins of reproduction and sexual behavior. Jane Goodall and Dian Fossey studied the family lives of chimpanzees and mountain gorillas, documenting maternal care, cooperation, attachment, and grief. Frans de Waal illuminated the evolutionary foundations of human social life. Margaret Mead and Claude Lévi-Strauss wrote about kinship and family across cultures, while Sarah Blaffer Hrdy has examined the evolutionary roots of human parenting and cooperation.

Drawing on this rich scientific tradition and on the research of an enormous host of field scientists working across cultures and around the world, anthropologist Meredith F. Small has written FAMILY : How the Human Need for Connection Forms and Shapes Our Lives. It is a spirited, plain-English distillation of research into the history and function of families, showing the many differences that religion, geography, and economic circumstances can drive.

Small begins close to home, examining how profoundly birth control has changed the modern concept of family in America and the rest of the Western world.

Chapter 2 moves on to the discovery in 1975 of fossilized teeth and bones in sub-Saharan Africa. Additional fossils were discovered during several more seasons of digging. The remains, dating from approximately 3.2 million years ago, seem to have belonged to a group of 17 early hominins—nine adults, three adolescents, and five children. They lived in the area and era of Lucy, the Australopithecus afarensis whose brain was about 20% larger than that of a modern chimpanzee, but still smaller than that of a modern human. Lucy walked upright while also spending significant time in trees.

Researchers dubbed the group the “First Family.” That was a big assumption, of course. The group may indeed have consisted of a mother, father, various aunts, uncles, grandparents, and children. But it might also have represented four or five families. There might have been no families in the group at all. Because the fossilized remains were found close together, researchers speculated that some catastrophe, perhaps a flash flood, had killed them simultaneously and buried them before scavengers could disperse their bones.

In this same chapter, Small discusses other early human populations, including Neanderthals, whose remains suggest that they lived in modest-sized groups. DNA analysis reveals close enough genetic connections that the groups might reasonably be called “families.”

Throughout the book, Small doesn’t try to make a specific teaching point with each example. She’s not lecturing her readers about families. She’s fascinating them with anthropological details that invite them to think through elementary questions: Why families? Is it about mutual protection? Is it about children’s vulnerability? Is it about romance? The economics of lineage? Do men and women always play the roles that we in Western society might expect?

A few examples from Small’s database of nearly 50 cultures illustrate just how different—and functional—family structures around the world can be.

Among the Barí people of South America, a pregnant woman may have sex with more than one man. She may identify several men as fathers of her child, in which case they all contribute fish and game to support her and the child during pregnancy. This arrangement can have significant benefits for the health and survival of both mother and child. The practice is called “partible paternity.” It reflects a real belief within the Barí culture that more than one man can be the biological father of a single child.

Among the Mosuo people of southwestern China, family life follows another unusual pattern. The society is matrilineal. Both men and women are free to have multiple partners, although many maintain long-term relationships. Men and women generally remain members of their mothers’ households rather than establishing homes together. If romantic partners meet at night while everyone else sleeps, the men return to their own homes. Rather than assuming primary responsibility for their biological children, men traditionally support their mothers, sisters, and sisters’ children. The mothers of their own biological offspring, in turn, receive support from their brothers.

Different strokes for different folks.

Small’s intention in focusing on the varieties of family structure is to ask large questions about the whys and wherefores of family. In this she succeeds royally, and reading her prose is a pleasure. Eye-opening stories soar with detail and empathy.

Her book’s back matter is impressive, too. She provides quick snapshots of each of the nearly 50 cultures cited in the book, along with notes, an index, and an extensive bibliography.

FAMILY is a lively book of thoughtful scholarship. It raises compelling questions about the origins and functions of family, then lays out evidence showing that human beings have arrived at a remarkable variety of workable answers.

FAMILY: How the Human Need for Connection Forms and Shapes Our Lives

400 pages; 8 pages of color photographs

Publication date: October 6, 2026