I’ve always been curious. When I was in my early 20s working in Hollywood, a producer told me I was “a lot.” For about a month, I dialed back my questions. But wanting to understand is part of my nature, and I couldn’t stay quiet. As my career took me through sports and media, asking questions helped me get where I am.

Over time, I’ve learned that wanting to understand someone does not mean they owe me an explanation. I’ve also learned to approach people with more interest in who they are than in what they might be able to do for me. Staying curious means being willing to hear an answer that challenges my opinion and knowing when to stop asking.

There is reason for leaders to pay attention to how they connect with people. In January 2026, Gallup reported that 41% of Gen Z and younger millennial employees strongly agreed that their supervisor or someone at work cared about them as a person in 2025, down from 54% in 2020. That finding does not measure curiosity, but it highlights a gap that another routine “How are you?” is unlikely to resolve.

I still ask plenty of questions. But I’ve come to see that curiosity requires paying attention to more than the answer. As a leader, you also have to consider why you’re asking and how willing you are to listen.

1. Stay Curious About People Who Cannot Advance Your Career

Imagine enjoying a conversation at a professional event until you realize the person has no connection to your industry. Do you keep listening? Or start looking over their shoulder for your next opportunity?

Nobody owes every one they meet an hour of their time. But notice whether your interest changes once you assess someone’s professional connections.

To put this into practice:

  1. At your next networking event, introduce yourself to someone outside your industry. Give the conversation time before deciding whether you have anything in common.
  2. Ask, “What drew you to your line of work?” Follow up on something in their answer instead of searching for a useful connection.
  3. If you catch yourself deciding whether someone is worth your time, bring your attention back to what they are saying.

You do not need to leave every conversation with a lead. Sometimes, you leave with a perspective you would never have encountered in your usual circle. That is worth your attention, too.

2. Stay Curious After Someone Disappoints You

It is easy to be curious when someone is engaging and receptive. Staying curious after they reschedule your coffee meetup twice takes more effort. You may have already decided they do not value your time. Give them a chance to explain before deciding what the changes in plans mean. You can understand their circumstances and still leave the next invitation to them.

To put this into practice:

  1. Separate what happened from your interpretation. Two rescheduled meetups do not, by themselves, explain someone’s intentions.
  2. Ask whether they still have time to meet. Listen without supplying an explanation for them.
  3. Decide what works for you. Offer another date or let them reach out when their schedule settles.

Hear them out before writing them off. Being curious does not mean keeping your calendar open indefinitely.

3. Respect The Answer Someone Chooses Not To Give

A manager notices an employee seems distracted and asks what is happening at home. The intention may be kind. The employee still has to decide how much to tell the person evaluating their work. Showing concern should leave room for privacy . Someone can appreciate your support without wanting to explain their personal circumstances.

To put this into practice:

  1. Ask, “Is there any support you need from me at work?” Let them choose how much context to provide.
  2. Accept a brief answer without pressing for personal details.
  3. Follow up on any support you agreed to provide. Keep your usual warmth if they choose not to share more.

The test is whether you can respect a boundary without making the relationship colder.

4. Know When Another Question Is Too Much

You ask a follow-up question. Then another. Eventually, the other person says, “Anyway, I should get back to work.” Your next question can wait.

Even a welcome topic can run its course. Curiosity requires leaving room for the other person to ask something, change direction or end the conversation.

To put this into practice:

  1. Take an expressed need to leave at face value. Do not squeeze in “one last question.”
  2. If answers become shorter, offer a pause. Ask, “Would you like to keep talking about this another time?”
  3. Let a thoughtful answer sink in. Acknowledge what you heard before deciding whether another question would add anything.

I’m still probably “a lot” for that Hollywood producer. But I no longer measure my curiosity by how many questions I ask. The better test is whether I leave a conversation understanding someone better, especially when I thought I had them figured out.