Brands are pouring resources into looking empathetic, because it is a competitive advantage in the age of AI. But there is a dangerous gap between performing empathy and genuinely practicing it, leading to customers voting on sincerity with their wallets.

For example, you walk into a Starbucks. The barista calls out a cheery hello. Someone scrawls "Enjoy!" on your cup . They often follow up with a sunny, "Have a nice day!”when you leave - or even just get up to go to the restroom.

It feels warm for a second, until you realize every single person in every single Starbucks is doing the exact same thing, because they have been encouraged to do so to improve customer connection scores through an initiative called Green Apron Service . The initiative was designed to reconnect partners (what Starbucks calls their café employees) with customers, according to an interview with Starbucks COO Mike Grams .

Full disclosure: This contributor is a long-time Starbucks fan. And when in-store experiences changed during the Pandemic for social distancing - taking out tables and chairs, for example - I, like many other fans, feared Starbucks might lose it’s way as the Third Place where people work, gather, and connect.

A Starbucks representative commented via email, “Starbucks has described Green Apron Service as a key part of its Back to Starbucks strategy focused on helping partners deliver great coffee craft, create meaningful customer connections and provide a welcoming coffeehouse experience. We’ve also discussed investments in staffing, scheduling, technology and leadership designed to support that experience.”

Aiming for warm customer relationships is fantastic but when connection is mandated, it risks becoming a burden to staff and a hollow experience for customers. The distinction between scripted, performative empathy and true, human connection is stark, and your customers can tell.

Brands in such competitive markets are right to make the differentiation attempt. The 2025 Zurich/YouGov global survey of 11,560 consumers across 11 countries found that 73% of respondents said they would avoid companies that show a lack of empathy, 43% have already left a brand for this very reason, and 61% would pay more for a brand that genuinely cares.

A separate 2025 Ipsos analysis of over 1,700 ads found that ideas grounded in empathy are 79% more likely to drive brand choice.

So why are so many brands still getting it wrong?

What Fake Brand Empathy Looks Like

In early 2025, Starbucks CEO Brian Niccol rolled out his "Back to Starbucks" campaign , it included policy that baristas write cheery messages on every cup as part of an attempt to recreate the warmth of a neighborhood coffee shop. The response was clear.

Customers who had loved the occasional handwritten note felt the magic drain away the moment they learned it was mandatory. As one Reddit commenter put it: “It used to feel special the occasional times I'd get a note, now it's just a reminder I'm making someone do extra work for no reason.”

Per a Business Insider investigation cited in The Boston Globe , pre-marking cups before a customer even places their order is listed as a minor policy infraction, meaning the spontaneous personal touch is being mass-produced before the interaction even begins.

While many partners are happy with all the efficiency and tech changes that enable them to spend more time connecting, as Grams talks about in this CNBC interview cited above, not all baristas are thrilled. " Our responsibilities are increasing while our staffing levels and wages aren’t," one union delegate told TODAY.com.

The intent is there. And many baristas do enjoy taking such action and would do so with or without a policy. But when empathy is forced, however, it goes beyond failing. It can actively erode trust. Because it is never about the act: it is about the relationship around it.

Scripted empathy can take different forms in the age of AI. Many major brands have deployed AI customer service chatbots programmed to use empathetic language, such as "I understand how frustrating that must be” while being completely incapable of resolving the issue. New research confirms how this backfires. A 2026 University of South Florida study found that empathetic-sounding responses from AI chatbots actually worsen customer reactions. "Empathy from a chatbot can feel intrusive and undermine trust," said co-author Dezhi Yin. “Brands attempting to get personal without customer understanding risk missing the mark. When customers feel the disconnect from an act of performative empathy, they will at best ignore it or, worse, get turned off because it lacks personal relevance," says Kevin Perlmutter , Author of Brand Desire and Chief Strategist & Founder of Limbic Brand Evolution .

What Authentic Brand Empathy Actually Looks Like

Consider Walmart’s greeter program. It is often dismissed as corporate theater, but something meaningfully different exists: the greeter's entire job is to welcome you. And they get to do it in their own unique way. It is not a policy bolted onto another role. The greeter is present, focused, and their sole purpose in that moment is connection.

Chewy is another example: the online pet retailer is famous for sending handwritten sympathy cards and flowers when a customer’s pet dies. More tradition that required policy, the company’s culture, specifically it’s WOW team dedicated to customer delight, gives employees permission to genuinely care. Similar to Wedgewood Pharmacy, the nation’s largest compounding pharmacy in the United States devoted exclusively to animal health. Marketing executives shared on The Empathy Edge podcast how they scaled empathy: What started as kind employees sending condolences to bereaved pet owners turned into a repeatable and supported practice so no customers fell through the cracks.

That’s the difference between organic, in-the-moment empathy rituals that become operationalized versus policies invented in a board room. It's about intention. Authentic empathy is embedded in the culture, gives employees time and autonomy to connect in a genuine way, and is backed by how the brand actually treats its own people. When you genuinely empathize with customers' needs and challenges you can tailor experiences to address real pain points, but the key word is “genuine.”

"Today, customers are too savvy to be fooled by manufactured empathy,” Perlmutter adds. On the other hand, we’re surprised and genuinely happy when a cashier, sales rep, even flight attendant makes us genuinely feel special. That is the true opportunity for brands that want to stand apart.”

Brands Cannot Mandate Empathetic Customer Connection

You can build cultures where empathy and connection are the norm, modeled from the CEO on down to the cleaning staff. When companies treat their own employees with care, that ripple outward to customers. And when brands make tech, staffing, and efficiency investments, as Starbucks has, they free up time for customer-facing staff to make compassionate choices in the moment, where magic happens organically, But if the actions themselves are mandated, they start to feel fake.

When better ways to serve and delight customers bubble up organically, executives can then turn them into policies for the purposes of scale and support, not to force employees to pretend.

Where is your brand performing empathy instead of practicing it? That gap is worth closing, before your customers close it for you.